Jack is a lumberjack, on his way to a 24-hour lumber jacking competition. Stopping by a department store he buys some coffee, cream and tea biscuits, for a snack and to keep him awake throughout the event. He also buys a handsaw. Now you may wonder why a lumberjack on his way to the Official Lumberjack 24 Hour Endurance Trial would need to buy a handsaw at the last minute. He doesn’t. He always keeps in his trusty tool belt a solid titanium, diamond tipped handsaw worth, like, at least 20 bucks. The reason Jack bought this 4-dollar handsaw is because he likes to buy cheap crappy saws that shatter in his hands as he’s sawing. It looks very dramatic indeed and impresses the beavers.
Receipt 1, Story 2
Jason is a lonely man. Jason needs coffee for himself so he can stay up all night watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVD’s. So he heads down to the local department store and buys himself some coffee, cream, and tea biscuits. He also buys a handsaw. Don’t ask Jason what the handsaw is for; it’s not a comfortable topic.
Receipt 2, Story 1
Beatrice is a lonely woman in her mid 50’s. Her husband died 10 years ago and her only joy in life is found in her cats, which don’t really like her but who cares, they’re cats not people. She also loves Bingo though she never wins. Indeed, Beatrice leads a sad life, which explains why she eats so very much. Beatrice, as part of her daily ritual, will head down to the department store and buy lots of candies and sweets like Wavy Crisps, and cigarettes, which, though not being ‘sweets’, do the same thing for her. She also buys cat food and litter, for her 50-odd cats and garbage bags, for their poop and also for the times when she forgets to feed a certain cat for a bit too long.
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