The most popular girl at school was Bethany Brown. My name is Liz, and I am not part of what Bethany referred to as the “in crowd” so like many others out side of her group I was bullied and teased. Day after day Bethany and her crew of jocks and cheerleaders pushed tease and ridicule the rest of the student body. Finally I decided to gather a group of individuals to pull a prank on the unsuspecting “in crowd”. I was in charge of gathering the required materials, which included a number of juice cans, a radish, and things that smelt bad went left sitting around for a while. In my backyard we filled my little brothers plastic pool with a sliced cucumber and radishes, cream cheese, yogurt, mayonnaise, chocolate milk, salami, brie, waffles, smoked cheese and sliced pickles. Brandon was given the task of stomping on the ingredients in order for it to all mix together nicely so I picked him up a par of rubber boots while I was out shopping.
An assortment of juice, shampoo, and pickle brine were added after the ingredients had rotted to insure it was a nice thick liquid. The morning of the attack on Bethany and her crew we meet at the football field under the bleachers. In a large garbage bag we had well over 20 balloons filled with our concoction. Every morning Bethany sits in the cafeteria with her friends and paints their nails before class. My next task was to “mistakenly” knock Bethany while painting her nails and apologies while offering her nail polish remover which I had left in my back in the bleachers my the football field. She and her friends then followed me out to the bleachers where I had left my bag, they sat down snickering and making fun of my attire and I handed her the nail polish remover. I told her I had to go to class so she could keep the remover she just laughed and ignored me. I went to meet the rest of my group, which had relocated behind the portables, located right behind the bleachers. We each grabbed as many balloons as we could carry and slowly crept behind Bethany and her friends and at the signal we unleashed the fury. One by one Bethany and her friends were covered from head to toe in our rotted concoction. We were suspended for a while but it was worth it to come back and find that she still smelt a little funny.
Receipt “M”: story two
On weekends I would spend my time documenting my neighbors using binoculars for fun. My neighbor to the left of our house was a single white male around the age of 40. On weekends he would bring home a number of different young women each night and they would spend most of their time in his hot tub. My neighbors to the right of our house were a hippy couple. Him and his wife would have nail polish parties every weekend. After they would then place plastic bags surrounding their entire backyard down on the ground and would pour juice, yogurt, grenadine syrup, chocolate milk and mayonnaise all over the laid out garbage bags. They would then each in nothing but bathing suits and rubber boots run and slide through laughing and yelling while covering themselves in the mess. After wards they would sit out on lawn chars and share a cheese, vegetable, crackers and meat platter until most of the mess dripped off of their bodies and they were dry enough to go inside and take a shower.
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Receipt “P”: story one
There once lived a spoiled little girl named Susie-Ann. Her parents were barely home due to work and barely spent any time with 7-year-old Susie-Ann. Her parents form of love was to purchase whatever their little girl wanted including all the junk food she could eat. Susie’s particularly favorite snack food was an egg waffle with cream cheese, hazelnut spread, covered in melted marshmallows topped with another egg waffle. There was nothing her parents loved more than to watch their extremely unhealthy daughter happily consume this sugary creation. Susie-Ann’s toy shelves were covered not with toys and playthings but with fruitcake, chocolate crisp and jars of cashews. Every morning she had to have a cup of coffee with sugar cubs on the side, and a vase of fresh flowers. If only Susie-Ann’s parent had been around more often.
Receipt “P”: story two
Hilary was the most beautiful girl at school. In 1999 at the first of every month I would greet her with a present in hopes that I would win her heart. On January 1st I presented her with flowers but she refused me. In February I brought her coffee and a bag of sugar cubes and still she rejected me. In March Hazelnut spread, but still nothing. April… fresh cream cheese, May… chocolate crisp, June… party marshmallows, July… cherry pie, August… egg waffles, September… ginger bread, October… candy corn, November… fruit cake but still she refused everything. December was to be my last attempt. With gift I hand I offered her the last of the 12 gifts. She looked down with her beautiful eyes and before I knew it she had flung both of her arms around my shoulders and squeezed me while yelling, “crab salad is my favorite!” Now each year on our anniversary of December 1st I present her with a crab salad.
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