Rachel;s Supermarket Narrative#3

Ello?
Hi, Shelly? It’s Harold.
Oh Harold! How lovely of you to coll! I wos just thinkin’ about you!
You were?
I wos! How are you?
Well thanks..and yoself?
Aside from a bloody flooded toilet and two burnt woffles, I’d say me morning is off to a splendid start.
Oh dear! Quite a mess, is it?
I’m afraid so.
Well, if it’s a’right with you…I mean if you’re not…busy or anything…maybe tomorrow, I wos just thinking…but you don’t have to if you don’t wont to…we could-
Harold?
Yes?
Just bloody osk me
Uh…uh..I beg your pardon?
Yor askin’ me on a date aren’t you?
No! I mean, not if you don’t wont me to..
I’d love to.
You wot? Really?
Yes. Now wot did you have in mind?
Dinner! I could….I was thinking I could make it meself. A nice steak or bird, with custard for desse-
Harold, we’ve been friends for over 10 years. I’m a vegetarian, rememba?
Oh right. Sorry. Just a little excited. How about me mum’s famous vegetable bean soup then?
Now that sound’s brilliant. Custard would be delicious too.
Then it’s a date, so tomorrow, let’s say 7o’clock. I hope yor toilets are dry by then!
A’right. 7 it is. See you, Harold!
Cheerio Shelly.
Bye Harold (giggles)



Ello?
Mum? It’s Harold. She said yes!
Harold sweetheart, that’s wonderful! About time you worked up the nerve.
Yes well, I’m cooking supper for the two of us for tomorrow. I wanted to know the recipe for your soup, I’ve got to run to the market soon and pick up a few things.
Right! Of course, let me just rummage through me recipe box. My memory is not as good as it used to be.(Shuffling noises)Harold?
Yes mum?
...While you’re at the market dear, you should pick up some more tea. The last three times I’ve visited you, I’ve been sorely disappointed that there isn’t any left. And sugar and milk too! I don’t know how you live without tea in your cupboard.
Yes mum, I’ll remember to get some.
And wot about soap to wash the dishes? No woman likes a man who keeps a dirty kitchen, and knowing you, that’s exactly wot you do.
Yes mum, I will buy some dish soap too.
And toilet paper? Did the supply I brought over last month run out yet?
Oh..errr…maybe?
Harold! That’s atrocious!
Wot! I use tissue!
Goodness me.
Alright well here’s the recipe. Do you have a pen and paper?