MEETING IN A SUPERMARKET (part 1)

Receipt C:

Bad, bad menopause
My name’s Rosanne. This month was my 53rd birthday. All of my children are off doing whatever they do that doesn’t include me. Two of the bastards “couldn’t make it to the birthday party” because they were out of the country. Couldn’t make it to their own mother’s 53rd birthday party? What party? The only person who remembered me was my youngest child, that reject. He probably only came over and drank my coffee so that he could ask for twenty bucks later. None of my Bingo friends called. Not Maurice, not Rico, not Eileen, not one of them. Nobody called except for my youngest son the reject. I’ve been so angry inside for the past few months - I don’t know what it is. Perhaps I’m just tired of dealing with everyone for 53 years now. Well I won’t have to once I’m done with them tonight. I started off by calling my oldest son and middle daughter last night because they’re both back in town now, but then I remembered how I felt deep down inside, and so I invited them over for coffee this afternoon. I invited those two, my youngest son the reject, and my friends from Bingo to come over for coffee this afternoon and this morning I gathered the supplies. Coffee, creamer, biscuits and a hand saw from the supermarket, and poison from the garage - the deadliest one out there, according to Google. The phones will be off the hook and the doors bolted, and shortly after I serve them their spiked coffee and biscuits, they’ll all be laid out on my kitchen floor, ready for me to use my new handsaw on them so they fit nicely in my freezer. The last thing I want them all to screw up is my freezer. I’ll see if I’m still in the mood later.

Mr. Woodworker
A cheap handsaw won’t last you long when you’re a woodworker like I am. In fact, I’m not sure why I’m even using a handsaw anymore when I’ve got all this expensive equipment. I guess it just helps me feel more traditional, like a real woodworker. People always doubted me, but I’ll show them all. I usually prefer the cheaper brand of handsaw because I go through the blade a lot faster and it makes me feel like I’m getting a lot more done - even if using a cheap handsaw takes twice as long. And that is why I’m going to be up all night trying to get this coffee table finished. I’ll need a lot of coffee of course, and biscuits to settle my stomach. I’m really living out my dreams.